How-To

How to Write an Obituary That Celebrates a Loved One's Life

FFacts On Tap Editorial Team Fact-checked Updated October 4, 2025 3 min read

Writing an obituary can feel daunting, especially if you've never done it before. But an obituary doesn't have to be a stiff list of dates — it can be a genuine tribute that captures who someone was and the mark they left behind.

Here's what actually goes into a well-written obituary, plus a few facts about the tradition itself that can help you put the task in perspective.

The word "obituary" comes from the Medieval Latin obituarius, rooted in the Latin obitus, meaning "a going down" or "death" — originally a euphemism for dying rather than a direct term for it.
A strong obituary often opens with a personal hook — a quote, small anecdote, or defining detail — rather than jumping straight into dates and facts.
Most obituaries follow a similar structure: a brief introduction (name, age, place of residence), a summary of the person's life and accomplishments, a list of surviving and predeceased family members, and details of the memorial or funeral service.
It's standard practice to keep the introduction concise, saving specific stories and accomplishments for the body of the obituary.
Obituaries traditionally focus on the positive: education, career, hobbies, community involvement, and the qualities loved ones want remembered.
Using specific, concrete details and small anecdotes — rather than generic praise — is what makes an obituary feel personal instead of like a form letter.
Many obituaries close with information about visitation and funeral or memorial services, plus any requests, such as donations to a charity in lieu of flowers.
An obituary is technically different from a eulogy: an obituary is a written notice published for a wide audience, while a eulogy is a spoken tribute delivered at the funeral or memorial service.
Newspapers often distinguish between a short paid "death notice" (basic facts only) and a longer, more narrative obituary that may be written by family or staff.
The New York Times runs an ongoing feature called "Overlooked No More," launched in 2018, which writes belated obituaries for notable people — many of them women and people of color — whose deaths were never covered by the paper when they died.
Public figures and celebrities often have obituaries prepared by news organizations well in advance of their deaths, so they can be published quickly and accurately.
Proofreading carefully for accurate names, dates, and relationships is considered essential, since an obituary often becomes a lasting historical and genealogical record for the family.

Frequently asked questions

What is the difference between an obituary and a death notice?

A death notice is typically a short, paid announcement with just the basic facts of a death and service arrangements. An obituary is usually longer and more narrative, highlighting the person's life, accomplishments, and personality.

What is the difference between an obituary and a eulogy?

An obituary is a written notice published in a newspaper or online for a broad audience. A eulogy is a spoken tribute delivered by a family member or friend at the funeral or memorial service.

How long should an obituary be?

There's no fixed rule, but most run a few hundred words — enough to cover the person's background, key life events, survivors, and service details without turning into a full biography.

Should an obituary mention the cause of death?

That's entirely up to the family. Many obituaries omit the cause of death or describe it only in general terms, while others choose to include it, sometimes to raise awareness about a particular illness or cause.

Is it okay to write an obituary in a lighthearted or humorous tone?

Yes — many families choose a warmer, even humorous tone if it reflects the person's personality. The goal is to capture who the person truly was, and for some people that means embracing humor rather than a purely formal tone.

Sources & further reading

Reviewed by the Facts On Tap Editorial Team

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